In a move that has left both the sports and fashion worlds reeling, Nike has decided to part ways with Megan Rapinoe, resulting in a whopping $100 million financial nosedive.

The athletic giant, apparently tired of her relentless demands for equal pay and social justice, figured it was cheaper to cut ties than keep up with her “woke” crusade. Critics are having a field day, sarcastically noting that Nike’s board must have used their latest line of running shoes to sprint away from controversy.

Meanwhile, fans are divided, with some lamenting the loss of a fierce advocate and others suggesting Rapinoe start her own line of protest-themed sneakers. As the dust settles, one thing is clear: this breakup is destined to become a legendary case study in “How to Lose a Sponsor and Alienate Fans.”